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The first Jana Carrey Photography Vlog! Allowing Vs. Proving

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Today’s Magical Monday blog post is my first Vlog or Video Blog entry! I am so excited to be playing with this new approach as I start a new chapter of life in Los Angeles. The video is a highlighted version of what I have written below.

During my social media cleanse, I realized that part (not all) of my desire to use social media sites comes from wanting to know what others are doing and to make sure I am not “missing out.” On a deeper level this is about not trusting myself or allowing myself to be. Proving or seeking approval are two sides of the same coin, both come from the ego-based desire to please or impress others. To me, proving feels like a forceful pushing of my agenda onto others and seeking approval feels like soliciting worthiness or attention from others. Either way, this behavior puts the power outside of myself and into the hands of another. The energy of proving or seeking approval is also connected to what I call the 3 C’s – Comparison, Competition and Constriction. All 3 are based in fear and all are connected.

  • Comparison is that act of measuring what I am doing against others and assumes that my own way of doing things is not correct or is not worthy. Comparison leads to “shoulds,” when I see how others are doing things and tell myself I “should” or “should not” do the same. It can also lead to FOMO – Fear of Missing Out – because I assume that what others are doing is better than what I am currently doing. Simply put comparison can lead to the square peg into a round hole analogy. Whereby we force ourselves into the spaces or paths of what others have created before us.
  • Competition is similar to comparison but takes it one step farther into the energy of lack. Competition energy assumes that there is limited time, resources and space in this lifetime and that in order to get what I desire, I must beat someone else or that someone else must lose something in order for me to “win” it.
  • Whereas comparison and competition are more external actions, constriction is internal. It is the feeling I get inside when I am in a space of proving or seeking approval, comparing myself to others or competing against another. It feels tight, tense and pinched off from my Source or my sense of self. Simply put it feels horrible and I often feel it as a tightening in my shoulders and neck, which eventually leads to a headache. I believe it most likely manifests a bit differently in everyone.

On the other hand, allowing keeps the power withing myself, in my center, and from this place I recognize that I am the creator of my reality. My life is my own and it is a choose-your-own-adventure experience. No one knows how to “do me” or live my life better than I do. I shift the responsibility back to me. As an Allower, I am not a victim to life’s circumstances but rather an active creator. Part of this mind-shift involves allowing myself to be who I truly am  – which is a continually evolving being. In this space of allowing, I assume that I am already enough and I am worthy just as I am. This may seem like a radical idea because it is not the way most of the world (currently) operates. However, the more I step into allowing the better I feel. It feels open, expansive and energized. It allows me to view life as an active, dynamic playground or place to experiment with a diverse, unlimited supply of options and possibilities. There are no right or best ways to do life, but really it is a process of tuning in and listening to my heart. I allow myself space to continue to grow and expand as a human being. I allow others to do life however they see best for themselves.

Note to reader: I am new to being an allower and it is uncharted territory for me. I spent much of my life having been trained by the external world to be a prover and a seeker of approval.  (Sound familiar?) I am not a master allower yet but as I gain practice at it, I will share practical tips for how it impacts my life and my creative endeavors … including my photography! My ultimate goal is to be of service to all people in uplifting and expanding what is possible for life, creativity and innovation.

And as always, please connect below in the comment space, and let me know your thoughts or questions around this topic. You can also reach at to me directly via jana@janacarrey.com. Wishing you much joy on your path!


Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: allowing, comparison, competition, constriction, external, internal, internal world, life as an experiment, Life as Art, life as the great creative process, musings, philsophy, play, proving, self, social media cleanse, trust, vlog, worthy

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